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Saturday, January 14, 2006

Butterfly Mystery - Chapter 6

“And this is the bathroom, that way the boy’s and this way the girl’s.”
Martha was being guided in the school by Emily, her school partner. Although Emily was a bit boring, she was sympathetic and made Martha comfortable.
“And this is the security department” she said pointing one door “if you have any problem of any kind you can talk to them. Let’s go inside so that you can meet the security agents!”
Once inside it, Martha was able to see the department. There were about 10 teenagers working on a desk or receiving other students. Emily took Martha to one of the desks. The student’s name was Jammie, which could be seen in his badge.
“Sorry, I’m leading this new student through the school. Could you present her the installations?”
“Sure follow me.” He said with enthusiasm.
He explained how they worked. Martha was excited. Besides treating people’s problems, they can also treat about little thefts. This interested Martha in particular.
“How can a simple student join your organisation?” Martha asked.
Jammie looked surprised.
“Well, there are a lot of exams you have to pass before entering. They are not easy, I must say. One of them-“
“There’s here outside people and I haven’t been warned?”
Martha looked at the speaker. He was an 11th grade student who was wearing a much greater uniform than Jammie.
“Oh, sorry chief. Girls, this is William Detroit, our director.”
William just smiled. He seemed nice, after all.
“Welcome to our department”
Martha thanked. Emily started chating again, but with Jammie.
“Where are you from?” William started.
“Liverpool. I’ve moved to Westminster because of my brother.”
“Nice to have you here. These days, almost no one comes here to visit, it is always nice to have other people. Oh! Please, come and meet Rachel. My secretary.”
Martha and William approach a girl sat in a desk working hardly.
“Rachel, this is…”
“Martha Williams”
“I’m Rachel Thompson. Welcome!” the 10th grade replied.

After all, it was a productive night. Martha had met many new people who she could trust in, ready to protect the school and the students. Emily had already left and Martha was just walking. She looked at the faces of the students around her: they were all really happy to be with each other. Maybe, this school was the right for Martha…
However, her thoughts were interrupted when she saw someone.
He was perfect. Perfect face, perfect body, perfect heart. Martha was petrified. The beautiful face, the light brown haired, the green eyed, passed through her. Somehow, all other people just disappeared, leaving Martha and The God. Then, he noticed her and smiled at her. She just felt her face hotter than the sun. And he passed, leaving the blushing girl behind.
‘What was that?’

Next Chapter:
Who was The God? More enemies. The second date.

Author’s Note:
Please, girls, comment! I need comments so that I can see what is wrong or right.
One more warning, from now on, I'll be updating 3 Fifteen Journey chapters and 1 of Butterfly Mystery.

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2 Comments:

Blogger Sara_fc said...

Hey Anny! :)

Well, first of all I think your story is getting VeRRRRRy Insteresting!

BUT...
1st- It personally think it should longer; RIGHT not as long as Fifteen Journey, but well it think there should be some connection between the chapters.It's a little confusing...be more descriptive(is this a word?)!Waist your time, describing intensfully the passion between her and the GOD, her relaction with any particularly good friend...I know I can't speak for myself, cuz' my chapters tend to be confusing as well, but remenber your last comment?I agree.And you should do the same!:))
2nd.Feelingsssssssss....LOve is such a wonderfull thing!!!:D Sadness , fear, horror, SURPRISES!( I love when books surprise me!) Make an epic story, wonderfull, but real...possible and magical!!!JUST like life it self!!!


HURRAY FOR ROMEO AND JULIET!!!


Huggies*
Saritah

Monday, 16 January, 2006

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

io fipa... mesmo nao percebendo tudo o k escreves devo te dizer k o k percebo e fabuloso. É uma pena ser tudo a ingles visto k ainda nao aprendi grande coisa. A historia e fantastica e se percebece tudo ia adorar...
ja agora adorava k viesses a leiria um dia destes. k os jogos te corram bem, kero dizer mt bem. jokas fofas***

Thursday, 19 January, 2006

 

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